Practice Makes Perfect: A Pride and Prejudice Short Story by Linda Wagner

Author:Linda Wagner [Wagner, Linda]
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Published: 2022-03-22T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter 5

The Vicarage

Breakfast was over at the vicarage. Maria started to speak to her sister when an interruption occurred. Mr. Collins heard voices approaching the house. He jumped to his feet and peered out the open window to get a glimpse of the visitors. He saw two men dismounting their horses. He shooed the ladies into the front parlor. His arms flapped about wildly, and his hands pointed towards the sunny room.

An agitated Mr. Collins cried out, “Get ready to receive a great honor, ladies! Mr. Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam, the illustrious nephews of Lady Catherine, are almost at the door!”

His elation was extreme. He paced around the room tugging on his collar. The tugging tightened his cravat. The wretched man began to wheeze.

The gentlemen entered a comic scene. Collins was desperately trying to loosen his cravat while his wife begged him to calm himself. Maria was hiding her giggles with both hands in front of her mouth. Elizabeth blushed and looked down at her feet. Was there not a single member of her family able to act properly? Mr. Collins’ behavior was embarrassing. The two men were frequent visitors. There was no reason for the vicar to behave in this manner. Elizabeth was mortified.

The colonel was in a good mood after his rejected proposal. Colonel Fitzwilliam burst out with a jolly bark of laughter. His delight with the scene enacted by the vicar increased that feeling.

He bowed to the room and exclaimed, “Have we interrupted a jolly time, or what? Do share the joke with us! It is such a bore going over books every day and plodding about the estate with the steward inspecting drainage ditches.”

“No, indeed, sir,” quickly answered Mrs. Collins.

“We’re always happy to see you both. Please join us. Mr. Collins was just telling us a funny story about one of the pigs. It seems we have an escape artist in the pigsty. When my husband waved his hand to demonstrate a point his cravat got caught by his cufflink.”

Charlotte proceeded to tell them about a determined young pig that had an uncanny ability to lift the latch on the gate to the pigpen and escape into the flower beds at least once a week. She managed to loosen her husband’s cravat during the telling to the relief of the entire audience.

Mr. Collins recovered his composure and looked at his wife with gratitude. He began conversing with the colonel about the parish while Darcy wandered over to the ladies and inquired about their plans for the day. The three ladies had no plans.

Darcy asked with a hopeful air, “Would you ladies like to come for a ride to the shore with us? The Medway River is about fifteen miles to the south of Hunsford. It has a beautiful picnic area and several points of interest. We can pack a meal and explore a bit. Prepare overnight bags just in case the weather turns foul, and we need to stay the night at an inn.”

His reward was a quick acceptance by the ladies until Charlotte recalled they only had one horse.

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